Finding Closure


We need to move on from our bitter roots. We must move on from enslavement to our disappointments. We must take the path out from the bog of despair, the dark haunted woods. If we’re honest with our soul, our  rejection of  acceptance is because permanent is so long. So how do we do it? How do we find closure for the past? How do you let go of some of the most important parts of our life? How do you close things that have no resolution?

Far too many of us have wasted life’s best energies on what happened in the past. We are frozen. We live in stasis. Chained by the past, dreaming about a better future, entirely missing the present. The answer is that there is nothing that can be done to change what was. It’s over. No amount of screaming at the universe is going to make it different. So we really only have two choices. A: make yourself crazy. B: move on. 

Stop wasting what is left of your life in bitterness. Stop living like a zombie. Wake up and see the life all around you. Let go of self-pity and create the change you want to experience. From now on, spend your time being alive in the present, enjoying the earth. You are not a slave to circumstance. As an adult, you are free to choose. The outcome of your life is now your own responsibility, your fate is ultimately, the outcome of your own power to choose.

QUOTES

“Closure is not about fixing things, its not about resolving things, its about letting go, letting go of a past you cannot change, and creating meaning by creating something new.”

-Shayne Mason Vincent-

“You are undergoing subtle change now, your foundations are being restructured. Downtime is always on purpose. it is necessary for the next steps. One day at a time. The ‘finger of God’ writing upon your heart. Your now is stacked and significant, for it determines what you will do next.”

-Robert Lleweyllen-

“Closure means finality; a letting go of what once was. Finding closure implies a complete acceptance of what has happened and an honoring of the transition away from what’s finished to something new. In other words, closure describes the ability to go beyond imposed limitations in order to find different possibilities.”

-Unknown-

I used to think that being strong is fighting for what you want, I found out that in actuality it’s the strength to let go when that fight has done you no good.”

-Unknown-

Acceptance in human psychology is a persons assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it, protest, or exit.

-Wiki-

“Moses waited 40 years before he delivered Israel. Abraham waited 30 years for Isaac to be born. David waited more than 20 years to become king. Humanity waited for the messiahs first coming 4000 years. We have waited another 2000 years since for His return. ‘Faith is… the evidence of things not seen.’ Heb. 11:1. We must have patience in order to see the whole picture of our destiny. And by patient, i mean excruciating.”

-Shayne Mason Vincent-

“What or whom are you holding onto? Why? Does holding on truly make you happy, or are you hanging on to a situation the way it once was, or the way you wished it had been, instead of how it actually turned out? Are you using this “holding on” as an excuse to stay stuck and unresolved? In other words, is dwelling in the past taking you away from moving toward your future? Are you trying to avoid dealing with loss and the void that loss creates?”

-Unknown-

“If you’re willing to let go, what does that really mean? What will you have to do? Are you afraid of not knowing what the outcome will be? Ultimately, what do you believe will happen to you if you let go?”

-Unknown-

“Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day.”

-Unknown-


STEPS

  1. Grieve the loss, feel the disappointment, then move on already. 
  2. Gather your strengths: Make a list of your talents, gifts, and people.
  3. Focus on the positives still around you not just the past.
  4. Surround yourself with healthy friends and family.
  5. Shift the emphasis to what you need as a human being.
  6. Don’t worry about pleasing others nor your ego fears.
  7. Define and affirm what you’re able to do something about in the present.
  8. Make a plan for your immediate day and future; small steps reach huge goals.
  9. Create a ritual and a routine for today.
  10. Find solutions that exist now, instead of complaining about what wasn’t.
  11. Let beauty in, the world is filled with sunsets, beaches, and puppies.
  12. Make a gratitude list of what you have experienced, still have, and can do.
  13. Honor those you’ve lost by making your life something that they would be proud of. 
  14. Focus on what you can control instead of what you can’t .
  15. Stop using pain as self justification for self-destruction.
  16. Look at how far God has taken you, instead of the expectations He did not meet.
  17. You are not an island, depend on others, admit your need. 
  18. Be forgiving to God, to others, to yourself; in forgiving, you set yourself free.
  19. Acceptance is not giving our approval to bad things.
  20. Recognizing limitation and letting go of what is not in harmony with our expectations or demands allows you to focus on what you do well and gives you the opportunity to actual accomplish it! 

      .

-Shayne Mason Vincent-

Shayne Mason Vincent, MSW
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